I SAID PRINCES ON PURPOSE BECAUSE WIKIPEDIA TOLD ME THAT THE ONLY THINGS ABOVE DUKES ARE KINGS, QUEENS, PRINCES, AND PRINCESSES. SO MAYBE IT WOULD BE BETTER IF WE WERE KINGS. WHATEVER. I'M OUT OF PRACTICE.
First off. A salute to Duke. I've long been a fan of David Cutcliffe dating back to his days at Ole Miss. I thought they did him incredibly dirty by firing him for a mediocre season the year after Eli Manning left... and then added insult to injury by replacing him with everyone's favorite neanderthal Ed Orgeron. So I'm glad to see him doing well, and I'm glad to see him getting the national recognition he deserves as one of the best coaches out there. Hats off to Duke on a fantastic run.
But all good things must come to an end and it's going to end badly for you. Oh so very, very badly.
David, it's time to meet young Jake Spavital. 28 years old. He's going to be dining on your soul this evening. DINEEEEEEING ON YOUR DAMN SOUL YO.
THIS IS JAKE'S MOMENT. HENCE THE COVER PICTURE. I IMAGINE JAKE LIKE B RABBIT IN 8 MILE (HEY WANNA BE DEPRESSED? THAT MOVIE IS LIKE 10 YEARS OLD), SCRIBBLING ON A PAD WITH XS AND OS, PUTTING TOGETHER SCHEMES AND READYING HIMSELF FOR THIS MOMENT. (THAT'S THE THEME SONG CLICK IT NOW I KNOW IT'S OLD BUT COME ON). YOUNG JAKE HAS BEEN WAITING SINCE HE WAS A KID (WHICH IN FAIRNESS WAS LIKE 5 YEARS AGO) FOR THIS MOMENT. AND HE'S READY TO GO.
If I were more creative and had more time I'd amend Rabbit's final rap battle to represent this battle right here. Maybe I'd even photoshop Cutcliffe's head onto the opposing rapper in that final scene. But I've got two kids under two who are both down for a nap, and time is running short.
BUT IT'S ON. THIS IS SPAV'S MOMENT. THIS IS HIS DAMN TIME.
God willing we will see tempo. God willing we will see intentionally designed running plays...MAYBE EVEN 7 OF THEM (BE STILL, MY BEATING HEART). We will see the offense perform in a way that we haven't seen all year long. DEAR LORD WE MIGHT EVEN SEE A PASS TO CAM CLEAR OR MAYBE EVEN BRANDON WILLIAMS AND TREY IN THE BACKFIELD AT THE SAME TIME AND HAVE BRANDON FLEX OUT TO THE SLOT AND RUN A STICK DRAW CONCEPT TO HIM /passes out
/wakes back up
But seriously. This is Jake's game. And much like we were all wowed by Clarence last year in the Cotton Bowl, I think we'll be that way this year after Jake drops bombs.
The ACC isn't ready. The ACC isn't ready for A&M to come in and have its way with them. (no comment).
THIS IS OUR DAMN GAME. OUR GD MFING GAME AND HEAVEN HELP THE BLUE DEVILS BECAUSE WE'RE ABOUT TO BRING THE FIRES OF HELL UPON THEM.
Three numbers y'all. Three that have meant so much to this program. Three numbers that will go down in the history of Texas A&M.
I've been an A&M fan for a long long time. My college days were spent celebrating names like Stewart, McCown, McKinney, Ferguson, Johnson etc.
But none of those guys could hold a candle to these three. Two once-in-a-generation kind of players and the best of all time.
Do I really need to say more than that? Each of them deserves their own ALL CAPS GOODBYE filled with Boys II Men songs and red wine, but I'll let someone way more eloquent than me do that.
The bottom line is that for one last time we get to see three of the greatest players to have ever worn maroon and white play the game that God put them on this earth to play. It's been a privilege.
AND MUCH LIKE ANY OTHER PRIVILEGE, THIS ONE GOES BETTER WITH ALCOHOL (I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS). SO GET LIQUORED UP AND MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS Y'ALL. IT'S TIME TO EAT MOAR DEVIL.
LET'S BEAT THE HELL OUTTA DUKE, AGS.