EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
THACKTOR: Well, we’ve reached the end of another glorious Aggie Football season and it’s time to look back and take stock of the program. Texas A&M is hot on and off the field, with unprecedented success in the football program and popularity for the A&M brand. We all get to say that we were there when the program turned the corner. What is not to like?
HYPNO-TOAD: Take a good look Ags, because this is the pinnacle of A&M football right here: 4 losses, a mid-tier bowl, and a lineup likely to be devoid of anyone who could be called a “star” come 2014. The 2013 Texas A&M Football team started this season ranked in the top 10. Despite being slated with a harrowing schedule including the wood chipper that is the SEC West, the Aggies were considered by many to be a dark horse candidate to make a run at the national championship. We had the top running back and wide receiver corps in the SEC. We had Johnny F-ing Football.
And we won 8 games.
TH: The pinnacle of Aggie football was last year when we made everyone eat their words about our conference movement, had a Heisman winning QB, a stellar offense and a defense that made quarterbacks change their mattresses in the weeks following our games. Seriously, Mattress Firm owes Damontre a commission. Sure, this year was a bit of a let down, but still. Do you not remember people saying that we'd never get above 7-5 in the SEC? We're pissed off about this season's outcome, sure. But at least those bags of crap were still wrong.
And those losses? Three were to top 10 teams and none of those were by more than a touchdown.
HT: Well the salty A&M offense that managed a whopping 10 points against LSU will be mostly gone, with Manziel and Evans almost certainly declaring for the NFL draft and rumors swirling about other players seeking transfers. Ask yourself how confident you are about facing up with the best teams in college football next season with a bunch of freshmen at the helm. It’s time to admit that Kliff Kingsbury needed Manziel-level talent to execute his offense, and A&M needed Kliffykins to playcall our way out of a paper bag.
TH: I'll give you that we missed KK this year and vice versa. I think that both parties lament the sudden change of the guard and that's fine. We play the hand we're dealt. Now, about these rumors. Please. You don't think that Coach Damn is gonna have a nice sitdown with these fellas and keep them around? Our OL will be intact. We lose ONE offensive lineman with the rumor being that Ogbuehi is the going to be a better option at Left Tackle than Matthews was. KennyQB proved that he can take that helm just fine and will be running the offense quite well in his first year starting. So Mike and Malena are gone? OK, we saw that coming, but we'll still have a great stable of running backs to lean on and help set up the aerial assault. With the group of young defensive players getting a year of experience under their belt, they'll have a better idea of what's to come next year. Hell, I even read an article from the Bleacher Report that says we'll win the National Championship next year, so what more evidence do I need?
HT: It’s true, there is good news out there. The A&M defense will suffer very few losses to the NFL draft next season, due to youth and the fact that NFL teams rely heavily on tackling. This means that the bottom defense in the SEC will remain largely intact and ready to let other teams wheel-route their way into the record books. With the level of offensive production in the SEC increasing dramatically, the best hope for the Aggies is that Mike Slive’s cat jumps on the keyboard while he’s making the schedule and we are slated to play Florida 7 times in a row. Let’s just thank our lucky stars that there is now no chance that we’ll get to watch our Ags get their ass handed to them by Baylor in the Cotton Bowl.
TH: Could we seriously play Florida 7 times in a row? Because I'm totally for that. Slive's cat sounds like a hell of a good Ag. If this is in any way possible, I’m on board. But to suggest that we'd have our "asses handed to us by Baylor" is one of the most absurd things you've ever written. I can get behind kitty scheduling, but not an ass beating from the Bears. I think the game would be one hell of a shootout, but when push comes to shove, that game's won by the good guys from College Station.
Now, sure. The defense struggled this year. I mean Torbush did they struggle this year. But things change. Defenses mature. Our defense last year was supposed to get destroyed by the SEC and they didn't. They did us a favor and waited a year to do that, and we should be thankful. With the talent we have coming in and the maturity of an extra year, this defense will surprise people next year. We have the coaching staff to ensure that.
HT: Ah yes, the venerable Aggie coaching staff. Let’s ignore the Offensive Coordinator / Running Backs Coach who pounds the rock up to 6 times per game. A&M was able to lock up Kevin Sumlin as the head coach with a 6 year contract extension. That’s right, the coach who decided to punt with 2 minutes to go down by 7 to Mizzou in Columbia has been tied up in a contract so no one else will take him. For perspective, remember that contract extensions are reserved only for the most promising coaches. Coaches like Dennis Franchione.
TH: You may sit there and throw the F-word around like it doesn’t sting, but you know it does. It cuts to the core. Fran you.
HT: The Fran cut is the deepest. Your phenom quarterback is gone. Your biomechanical terror of a wide receiver is gone. Your coach is unproven without a Heisman candidate QB at all times. Hope you enjoyed the Glory Days, because they are gone as well. Abandon all hope, ye who enter the 2014 season. If you need me I’ll be clinging desperately to the success of the women’s soccer team.