ALL CAPS PREVIEW--TIME TO BEAT THE HELL OUTTA LSU

Ronald Martinez

I'VE GOT REGRETS Y'ALL. I'VE GOT REGRETS.

Last year we were down 5 with 8:35 left in the fourth quarter. The game was still within reach, but our offense had struggled all day.

Enter Trey Williams.

Trey Williams' kickoff return vs LSU (via orange doritos)

Trey caught the ball at the 8...and made things happen and made it all the way down to the 15 or so yardline. DOWN 5 WITH 8 MINUTES LEFT WE HAD THE DAMN BALL AT THE 15 YARD LINE.

You tell me. If that happened this weekend, you'd expect us to score, right? YOU'D EXPECT US TO GET SOMETHING...ANYTHING OUT OF THAT RETURN RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?! FOR GOD'S SAKES WE HAVE THE BEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER TO EVER PLAY THE DAMN GAME. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET POINTS OUT OF THAT DAMN DRIVE RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

Johnny rush for 2 yards
Johnny pass incomplete
Johnny pass incomplete
Missed FG

THAT SERIES HAS HAUNTED ME Y'ALL. STRAIGHT UP HAUNTED ME FOR THE PAST YEAR. We lost the game by 5...and we had the ball on their 15 yard line. WE HAD THIS DAMN GAME. WE HAD IT WE HAD IT WE HAD IT.

I recognize that I don't call plays...but I regret that series. I regret it with all of my heart. When Johnny goes on to win his 10th superbowl with [insert any team here but the browns or jags], I will still regret it.

WE HAD IT. WE HAD IT. WE HAD IT. LSU 2012 IS AUBURN 2013. THEY ARE THE SAME.

It's now time for revenge. Johnny's first ever (and likely his last) ever revenge game. I expect Johnny to be on fire this weekend. I expect Johnny to make others feel the pain he felt last year for an absolutely avoidable loss.

This week's theme song is very special to me (link is to the edited version--booo). No lie...I have listened to this song before every job interview since the song came out. 14 years after it was released, it never fails to get me hyped up. Conveniently enough, the group is from Louisiana, so the song fits because it's time to (as the kids say) turn up in preparation for this weekend.

I WILL TELL YOU RIGHT DAMN NOW THAT IF WE GET THE BALL ON THE 15 WITH THE GAME IN DOUBT JOHNNY BY GOD FOOTBALL WILL PUT THE DAMN BALL IN THE ENDZONE.

Yes the game is at 2:30 but sunset for tomorrow is scheduled for 5:04 PM, which means we will get death valley at night. AND I WELCOME THAT. I WANT IT ANGRY. I WANT IT HOSTILE. I WANT THOSE BASTARDS TO GEUAEUAUX NUTS WHEN JOHNNY GOES JOHNNY ON HIS WAY TO 500 YARDS WITH 4 TDS.

Revenge my friends. Revenge. REVENGE REVENGE DAMMIT WHY ARENT THERE ANY GOOD GIFS FOR REVENGE THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO.

Cat-slap-revenge_medium

via www.obviouswinner.com

EXCEPT WE ARE THE CAT AND YES I KNOW THEY ARE THE TIGERS GO WITH ME THERE'S JUST NOT MUCH ON GOOGLE FOR REVENGE GIFS. HELP ME IN THE COMMENTS.

To continue the theme of revenge, the first part of today's countdown will be stats that should ABSOLUTELY PISS YOU OFF IN REFERENCE TO LAST YEAR'S LOSS

26) WE HAD 26 FIRST DOWNS. WHAT THE HELL AND WE LOST?!?!

16) LSU HAD 16 THIRD DOWNS AND THEY ONLY CONVERTED 2 OF THEM. AND WE LOST. WHAT THE HELL.

6.8) YARDS PER CARRY IS WHAT BEN MALENA WAS AVERAGING. AND WE DIDNT GIVE HIM THE DAMN BALL WHEN WE HAD THE BALL ON THE 15 DOWN 5 WITH 8:35 LEFT TO GO.

5) POINTS THAT WE LOST BY. 5 GD MFING POINTS

5 AGAIN) 5 DAMN TURNOVERS. 5 OF THEM. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. 5. HAUNTING ME YALL. THIS INFORMATION HAS BEEN HAUNTING ME.

And now for three numbers.

13) MIKE EVANS IS PISSED OFF ABOUT THAT BALL THAT BOUNCED OFF OF HIS HANDS. HE KNOWS THE LSU SECONDARY IS WEAK AND HE HAS BEEN SITTING IN A DARK ROOM EATING RAW MEAT JUST WAITING FOR HIS OPPORTUNITY TO GO OFF.

2) #JOHNNYSREVENGE

1) 6.8 YARDS A CARRY WILL BE NOTHING. THIS IS A RAINY GAME AND BEN BALLENA IS READY TO GO. A DOG'S GOTTA EAT

Are you angry? Are you upset about last year? Did I bring up bad memories? GOOD. TAKE IT OUT ON ALCOHOL AND TAKE IT OUT ON BEING FOCUSED AND FIRED UP FOR TOMORROW'S GAME. IT'S TIME TO TAKE WHAT IS OURS AND BEAT THE EVERLIVING HELL OUTTA THE SWAMP KITTIES

LET'S. GO. RIGHT. DAMN. NOW.

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