Bye Week Q&A: Ole Miss Fashion with Bunkie Perkins

Scott Halleran

How should one dress for a game in Oxford, Mississippi? Every Day Should Be Saturday author, Ole Miss radio show host, and all-around internet journeyman Bunkie Perkins has graciously answered our fashion panel's array of questions.

GBH: Is there such thing as "too much seersucker"?

BP: In the right season, no, of course not.  But any reasonable discerning gentleman would know that any seersucker after Labor Day and before Easter is "too much seersucker."

GBH: Mercy, but there is a powerful heat visited upon us this fine eve. What can a gentleman of fine sensibilities procure from the local haberdasher to ensure that he remains cool?

BP: Well I declare, you should have prepared yourself for the unseasonable hot weather, but luckily most gentleman's clothiers on the Square should be able to cure what ails you.  If that doesn't work, you can always try a liquor store.  Theres nothing that breathes quite like a flask of Gentleman Jack hidden in one's trousers as you enter the game.

GBH: This game kicks off at 7:30. Is it correct to assume the dress code is different for a night game?

BP: Oh no, the usual Grove-appropriate outfits will work.  You Texans will be happy to know that you can wear jeans, a button down and a nice pair of boots.  Ole Miss fraternity guys love to act and dress like quasi-Dallas bros, so they'll appreciate your alternative sense of fashion.

GBH: What are the acceptable hairstyles? Facial hair? Is Bo Wallace exempt?

(here's the disney look guide for reference)

Disneylookmen_medium

BP: There is far too much product in your hair, Texas bros.  Go au natural in Mississippi, let those follicles breathe a little.  Also, I am aware of an Ag's propensity to grow side burns.  Lose em for the weekend, Wolverine.

GBH: What's the minimum required sunglass lens diameter for the ladies?

BP: Anything slightly less than a welder's blast shield is totally fine.  Accentuate with a low-cut sun dress and now you're cooking with gas, darlin'.

GBH: What's the proper pearl:girl ratio?

BP: Im going to say 2:1, because if your date is wearing a full string of pearls to a football game, you are already a beaten man and we should pity you.

GBH: Are croakies still the preferred method of keeping one's aviators/wayfarers from being scuffed by the pavement or demolished beneath the heels of a stumbling Ole Miss sorority lass?

BP: Croakies are still the generally accepted method for eyewear maintenance and to look like a tarpon rodeo might break out at any moment.

GBH: Are there different bourbons that match various male attire?

BP: I believe the correlation to one's clothing choice should be inversely related to your bourbon choice.  I think the conventional wisdom is, the nicer the clothes, the nicer the bourbon.  But, in the Grove, I find that a tried and true middle of the road bourbon is best. Some Bulleit, maybe some Maker's, nothing too fancy.  You're going to be mixing it with coke anyways, and probably going to have it sampled by any number of fellow tailgaters and passers by.  No need to break out the Blantons or Woodford Reserve for a day in the Grove.

GBH: We never talk underwear. Preferred tailgating brand and cut. For the ladies, you see.

BP: This is a personal preference, of course, but I find that a nice boxer breathes a little easier in those most intense moments of drinking and football.  Also, Gold Bond is a friend indeed.

GBH: Gold or silver buttons on a navy blue blazer?

BP: A blazer is overkill, it'll only be you and fraternity pledges wearing it if you choose to go that route.  That said, gold, what kind of common street trash do you take me for?

GBH: Is a pocket square overkill?

BP: Probably.  But a nice monogrammed handkerchief says you are practical, prepared, and yet a gentleman of considerable upbringing.

GBH: Should a man’s Croakies match his shirt or just coordinate with his outfit?

BP: I like a matching color, but matching brands (ie. Southern Tide shirt, and croakie)...that's next level Ole Miss fashion right there.  Beginners proceed with caution.

GBH: For women – the bigger the hair, the closer to God?

BP: Or boob job...but yes and praise His name.

GBH: What do Ole Miss co-eds carry in their purses?  Flip flops for the 2nd half? Cosmetics?  A flask?  You know damn well they aren’t carrying money – that’s what their date is for.

BP: Flops, make-up, their date's whiskey, birth control, and a knife (only really applies to girls from the Mississippi Coast).

FASHION PANEL

 

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