ALL CAPS PREVIEW-VANDERBILT

Thomas B. Shea

BACK ON TRACK PEOPLE. BACK ON THE DAMN TRACK.

DOES THAT HEADLINE PICTURE MAKE YOU ANGRY? GOOD. IT SHOULD. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT GAME NOW, BUT CHANNEL EVERY LITTLE BIT OF HORSECOLLAR RELATED ANGER THAT YOU HAVE INTO READING THIS PREVIEW.

To start off. I take full responsibility for our showing last week. I should have known better. The ALL CAPS PREVIEW started off as a lark, a jaunt, a whimsical journey into my mind prior to a game. It's become something bigger. Something darker. It's become the pulse of who I am on GAMEDAY EVES. AND DAMMIT IF I'M BEING HONEST, I'M NOT LISTENING TO METALLICA ON FRIDAY BEFORE A GAME. I'M LISTENING TO RAP. WHAT WAS I THINKING CHANGING UP THE FLOW LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?

Furthermore, I jinxed us. I ran a defensive review of the numbers instead of the normal offensive slanted countdown.I'M SORRY MARK SNYDER. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. PLEASE PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WILL GO BACK TO MY OFFENSIVE NUMBERS.

Vandy. Missing their starting QB. At kyle. What could go wron---NO NO NO NO NO DONT GO TO THAT DARK PLACE. NOTHING WILL GO WRONG. THIS GAME IS OURS. THIS IS THE PERFECT REBOUND TO LAST WEEK'S CHALLENGES. NASHVILLE IS NOT IN ALABAMA SO WE CAN WIN THIS GAME. AND DAMMIT WE WILL WIN THIS GAME NO MATTER HOW ATTRACTIVE JAMES FRANKLIN'S WIFE IS.

It's time to focus. It's time to finish the season strong. IT'S TIME FOR ALL OF US TO DO OUR JOBS AND FOCUS ON WHAT WE CAN AND SHOULD DO. AND THAT'S MAKING THESE SMART SONSOFBITCHES FROM VANDY FEEL OUR WRATH.

Vanderbilt has to come down to Texas. Let's introduce them to the third coast. Theme song of the day is by THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP PAUL WALL. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT US BOYS FROM TEXAS. MUCH LIKE LIONEL RICHIE, WE'RE ABOUT TO BREAK THE COMMODORES HEARTS (OBVIOUS JOKE THAT NEEDED TO BE MADE). LET'S GO. OFFENSIVE NUMBERS.

13) What can be said that hasnt already been said? Nothing. Enjoy it y'all. We are in the presence of greatness.

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12) I AM HEARING THAT THERE ARE A NUMBER OF STUDENTS TRYING TO OFFLOAD THEIR TICKETS TO THIS WEEKEND'S GAMES. I KNOW IT'S EARLY 12TH MAN BUT SACK UP, SHOW UP, AND YELL YOUR ASS OFF. YOU GET TO SEE THIS TEAM TOGETHER FOR ONLY A HANDFUL OF MORE GAMES.

11) Quietly Derel Walker is turning into a very solid WR for us. Malcome Kennedy is also becoming a consistent go-to guy. I like it. I predict both of these crazy kids to have fantastic games for us.

7) 1+6 or just straight up 7. Who do we see if Johnny's gone? Does it matter? EITHER ONE OF THESE QBS IS HUNGRY AND WOULD LIKE TO SNACK ON THE YOUNGLINGS OF CASTLE COMMODORE WOW THIS GOT DARK QUICK SORRY ABOUT THAT.

6) One of these days. One of these days we're going to do something totally off the wall with Quiv out of that jet sweep. AND IT WILL BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND LIKE SO

Umpoi_medium

via i.imgur.com

3) TREY WILLIAMS IS THE BEST BACK ON THIS TEAM. FEED HIM THE DAMN BALL. FEED IT TO HIM AND FEED IT TO HIM GOOD

2) Another wistful sigh. You know more than disappointed at the end of last week's Auburn game, I was surprised. Johnny's superman. It shocked me for him to not be able to pull that game out (horsecollar be damned). Another moment to recognize that we are in the presence of greatness that we will likely never see again. Look at this picture, flash forward to the mizzou game, listen to this song, and weep a bit.

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1) STOP WITH THE CRYING. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE THE KING IS BACK. I REPEAT THE KING IS BACK. BIG BEN WILL PUT US ON HIS BACK AND CARRY US TO VICTORY. YOU CAN GUARANDAMNTEE THAT.

I'm tired of being down about last week. I'm tired of being frustrated. I'M READY TO TAKE OUT ALL OF MY FEELS ON ANOTHER TEAM. I'M READY FOR US TO SINK THE COMMODORES (I THINK THEIR MASCOT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH A SHIP RIGHT).

5 GAMES. 5 GAMES BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR. 5 MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO PROCESS THROUGH YOUR ANGER AT OTHER OPPOSING SCHOOLS THAT YOU HAVE NO TRUE ANIMOSITY TOWARDS EXCEPT FOR THOSE RANDOM SATURDAYS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.

VANDY IS 1. VANDY IS IN OUR SIGHTS. AND VANDY MUST BE ANNIHILATED.

B. T. H. O. vandy.

LET'S GO.

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