Please go away.
Meeting new people is intimidating. Standing here shuffling our Adidas, we're hoping someone will notice our Aggie rings and welcome us to the club. You see, our last relationship was toxic and fueled by contempt. But this time things will be different. We're going to get out there and mingle so that we don't have to turn to personal ads, or billboards, to make introductions. Look, there's Derek Dooley sitting at the bar with a plastic martini glass. Go on and tell him you like the way his drink matches his tie. Or if you're looking for something a little more adventurous, Nick Saban's eating a runaway behind the dumpster out back. Why don't you go say hi?
Don't be anxious, you can leave the hard part to us. This weekly segment introduces you to the rest of the SEC by highlighting the best blogging from around the SB Nation network. Imagine that you're Thulsa Doom and we're bringing all of the action to you.
Let's start by shaking hands with Alligator Army once ours is greased with spit. Offensive coordinator Brent Pease has already been forced to apologize and not just for the Gator offense. That offense may not be down and out for long as Florida plans on learning from Week One and improving before they step onto Kyle Field. I know, we're all disappointed. Playing one shitty game is presumably better than no game at this point in the season.
Since Alabama locked up the crystal ball in Week One, let's check on them at Roll 'Bama Roll to see if they're discussing parade routes. Wow, it's pretty relaxed over here. There's a video of Trent Richardson and RGIII playing H.O.R.S.E. They're mocking every other fan base for their meltdowns. Wait, here's a serious recap of the Michigan game and it's much more than a GIF of someone getting punched in the throat repeatedly.
Let's keep it on the West side this week, slide in our earplugs and look in on Mississippi State at For Whom the Cowbell Tolls. MSU literally stumbled out of the gate this week but this looks like a group we can relate to since they're already contemplating how defense will be their downfall. The Bulldogs are also looking at how they stack up against Auburn, only this time we're not talking about stacks of cash (necessarily).
That's all for today, since I've got nothing on the TAILGATE preview. We also shouldn't get around too much while we're building a reputation.