Danielson’s home office, late summer. He has just finished his evening NordicTrack workout and is enjoying a nice bowl of Grape Nuts in White Russian. He navigates to the A&M depth chart.
OK. Gotta do this. Won’t take long; the Aggies are good folks, right? Still, better do this at home. They’d mock me at the office. "Oh yeah, like A&M is gonna make it on to CBS this year; you’re just wasting your time, Danielson." Never know. Ya neeeever know. Gotta be prepared, ‘cause ya never know. Like that time in ’06 when we had to go to Oxford for the Ellabama game, and—[takes large bite of cereal]—well, I don’t wanna let Verne down. Anyone but him.
Let’s see…quarterbyack. The SEC is known for having the best quarterbyacks. Johnny Manziel. Good football name. Freshman? I dunno. Hasn’t done anything. Wait, didn’t he…yeah, he was arrested for fighting. Shirtless mugshot. Won’t play when you consider the character of guys like Tim Tebow and Cyam Newton. Good moxie, though. Hope he turns it around. Could be the next Jarrett Lee if he plays his cards right, ya know?.
Offensive line. Tough guys, hogmollies. I hear they have a good one this year. Hmmm...Pyatrick Lewis at center. Lotsa starts under his belt, real important position. Definitely a "maybe." Jake Matthews. Matthews. "Good Gracious!" as Verne would say. He’s from an entire legacy of football greatness! Dads and cousins and brothers…I’m gonna asterisk this one for sure. Next…Luke Joeckel rings a bell. I think he’s preseason All-American or something…and what’s this? His brother’s the byackup quarterbyack! This could be good, this could be real good. Top of the list so far. Sorry, Jake.
Didn’t they have that guy Vaughn Miller? Oh, he’s in the NFL. Who’s their new best guy on defense? Porter. He had a lot of syacks last year. I’ll put him as a "maybe." Need to do more research. Who else we got on that side of the ball…hmmm, secondary has a true freshman starting. Couple guys at safety with the same first name. Might play as a two-fer feature if nothing else pans out. I’ll mark it a "possibility." Kinda like that Eighties detective show.
/takes bite of cereal
Running byack…I think they have a lot of good guys here. Christine Michael? I remember that name. Tough guy. Like the Johnny Cyash song or whatever. Plus he broke his leg three times I think and is still playing*. A definite contender.
*not at all true, but would sound impressive in the booth
Hmmm…wide receiver. Could really play if Sumlin’s got the offense going. Who we got…a freshman? No thanks. Uzoma Nwachukwu? I dunno, it’s hard to say. Ryan…Swope? Sounds familiar.
/navigates to SEC Media Days page
Oh. Oh my. Those numbers! And I bet he runs great routes. Another coach on the field; a lunchpail guy. And the hair! This young man is ready for the SEC. Ryan Swope, you are my man, my man!
//does a single chin-up on door frame workout bar as he skips to the kitchen