Streeter Lecka - Getty Images
I wrote this week with the presidential debate playing as background noise. Apologies in advance if I write in platitudes and bullshit. We have a nice little helping of games this weekend. It’s October! /squeals and rolls around in the leaves. Game time, you sickening animals.
All times Central - where you can pry our 64 oz sodas from our cold, dead, diabetic hands
Thursday, October 4
USC (13) at Utah | 8 PM | ESPN
Haven't heard much from Troy lately, have you? The cheaters have been licking their wounds in perfect weather with gorgeous women and sushi off the backs of models. (This is how all Notre Dame kids view USC). In any event, the Trojans are back on the field after getting upset by the Stanford Cardinal a couple weeks ago in Palo Alto.
My crazy ass Utes are 2-2, but I'm still ON BOARD. I just like these kids and I dig their coach. Sure, they got drilled down in Tempe a couple weeks ago, but isn't that the point of going to Tempe? #nailedit
Thursdays in Salt Lake City are not normally crazy (appetizers AND dessert at Chilis), but strange things happen in that mountain stadium. Sadly for the Utes, I think the Trojans reverse course and lay wood. Watch out for the UU defense though!
That USC offense kind of blows right now. I like it.
Friday, October 5
Pitt at Syracuse | 6 PM | ESPN
Future ACC basketball being played in a basketball arena with football helmets and far fewer fans. I've been to the Carrier Dome. In February, no less. Surprisingly awesome place to watch hoops.
Don't know who will win, don't care.
Utah State at BYU | 9:15 PM | ESPN
The Jack Mormons from Logan win and are Lord Bishops of the Beehive State for the year!
Saturday, October 6
Navy at Air Force | 10:30 AM | CBS
Is that really a 9:30 AM local kickoff? Up and at ‘em, cadets. I like military games. If you've never been to the Air Force Academy, I highly recommend a visit.
Northwestern (24) at Penn State | 11 AM | ESPN
I LOVE Northwestern. Let's go, Cats. This is finally your time to go into State College and lay WASTE to a program that views you as a boring Treasury Bond. You're going to win and you get to live in Chicago. Too bad Darren Rovell went to your school.
Kansas at Kansas State (7) | 11 AM | FX
Mad scientist Snyder has the machine rolling. This is going to be a nice home thrashing for the faithful. As someone who grew up liking the smaller state Ag school (Colorado State, and then A&M), I have an affinity for this K-State group.
Did you hear about Snyder's diet? He eats one huge meal in the evenings and that is it. Isn't that how the cavemen would eat? Oh, and that meal is often times Taco Bell confirming your suspicions that football coaches are the strangest humans on earth.
Arizona at Stanford (18) | 2 PM | FOX
This is a big litmus test for the Cardinal. We'll see how Shaw's men handle adversity after a painful loss in Seattle. A trip to South Bend looms next week, so this game might have some trap components. Shaw is sticking with junior quarterback Josh Nunes despite his struggles.
Arizona is coming off a brutal peyote bender. Dick Rod's squad was fast out of the gate with a 3-0 start including a beat down of Oklahoma State. Since? Well, the state of Oregon has not been good to the Cats. Oregon got out the Ferrari for a spin and rolled to a 49-0 rout. The following week had the upstart Beavs from Corvallis coming to town and sneaking away with a 38-35 win.
LSU (4) at Florida (10) | 2:30 PM | CBS
Speaking of litmus - or at least drug - tests, it's a "show me" Saturday for the Gators and the Tigers. LSU has looked bored, disinterested, and kind of lazy the last couple weeks in wins over Auburn and Towson. Towson. Anyway, if an afternoon visit to The Swamp doesn't get your attention, you're sure to walk away with a loss. The Gator D has been salty - only giving up 12.8 points per game. The offense has had some nice conservative balance with efficient running from Mike Gillislee. Jeff Driskel has taken care of the football and is making nice strides.
Ever been to a non-coastal part of Florida? The whole area is the Bermuda Triangle for weird. Gators win!
Georgia Tech at Clemson (15) | 2:30 PM | ESPN
Georgia Tech gave up 49 points to Middle Tennessee last week. Watch at your own peril. I need to make another road trip to Clemson. Great place.
Illinois at Wisconsin | 2:30 PM | ABC/ESPN2
Oklahoma (17) at Texas Tech | 2:30 PM | ABC/ESPN2
I was tasked with writing the Texas Tech State of the Union over at Barking Carnival way back in August. We knew so little about what kind of team Tech would field, and I still don't think we know much. They laid waste to their standard slate of deaf and blind non-conference competition. That was followed by a trip to Ames last week and a nice 24-13 win. The Tech offense is averaging well over 500 yards per game and the defense is only giving up 10.8 points per.
We don't know anything about OU either. They've only played three games - an ugly win in El Paso, a beat down of Florida A&M, and a loss at home to K-State. The Mike Stoops defense has forced all of ONE turnover on the season. That unit is going to have their hands full in Lubbock, and make no mistake - OU really needs a win. Bad. The Sooners will be at the State Fair next weekend. Focus is going to be critical.
All that typed, if there is one thing Robert Stoops loves, it is revenge. Tech walked into Norman last year, kicked the Sooners in the teeth, and strolled out with a 41-38 win. Jones is going to be drunk and rowdy and I expect them to will the Raiders to the upset. This season could unravel quickly for OU. We'll know much more in the next 10 days.
Texas A&M at Ole Miss | 6 PM | ESPNU
Hotty toddy flim flam Texas Aggies by damn. So steamed I'm not going to the Grove. Back when I had a younger body, I once spent 12 consecutive hours in the Grove. Kick-off was at 11. I was staying in an RV with some buddies. It's a good weekend when you have to take a cab from the Square to a motorhome.
West Virginia (8) at Texas (11) | 6 PM | FOX
Odd to see the Longhorn offense covering the ills of what was supposed to be an elite defense. I wouldn't want to be Manny Diaz this week. The Holgo machine is churning like never before and Geno Smith is spinning the ball all over the field. I've never seen anything like it - 442 yards passing per game.
The cast of characters in this tilt sound like they come from a mafia film - Geno, Stedman, Dana, Manny, Mack, Kenny, Major. This is going to be a fun game to keep an eye on. I'm taking the Mountain men. Look the hell out, 6th Street.
Georgia (5) at South Carolina (6) | 6 PM | ESPN
Oh hell yes. Man, lots to watch at the six o'clock hour. Depending on what happens to Florida earlier on, this game could determine who takes charge of the SEC East. Where does this game rank in terms of importance for the Cocks? Has to be near the top.
If you'll recall, Spurrier was trolling the Bulldogs this summer suggesting that moving the date of this game back to October helped Georgia due to their standard handful of suspensions from the offseason. He is the best.
Miami (FL) vs. Notre Dame (9) (in Chicago) | 6:30 PM | NBC
Catholics vs. the Convicts. Go watch Manti Te'o's presser from this week. Dude is all balls. Irish win in some truly heinous uniforms.
Nebraska (21) at Ohio State (12) | 7 PM | ABC
I'm running out of gas. I don't know how Corn goes into the Shoe at night and wins.
Washington (23) at Oregon (2) | 9:30 PM | ESPN
Watch as Oregon plays lazy hopscotch for the first half before slamming on the accelerator and running right over a timid pack of Huskies. You'll be exhausted and drunk. Go to bed.
Drink of the Week:
Maker's Mark Collins! The Ags are traveling to the Grove, so we have to stick with bourbon here.
- Two (or six) parts Maker's Mark bourbon
- One part fresh lemon juice
- One teaspoon sugar
- Club soda
- Garnish with cherry and an orange slice
- Shake and serve over ice
Drink this tasty concoction over ice in a red solo cup.
That's it for me. I'll be better next week. What did I miss? Enjoy the games, gang.